Tuesday, January 26:
Glorious sunshine, the whole countryside dripping with light. Loldi four hours out in the garden today. I am well again. R. is working on his score and says he could not get through a morning without doing something on it.
Cheerful spirits at lunchtime, the sunshine brings smiles to the whole house. Unfortunately, however, as R. is about to go out, a letter comes from Hans which is difficult to understand. He demands from R. the withdrawal of his correction for the Signale and reports the visit of his wife to Versailles. R.’s whole appearance alters; he is in an utter frenzy. I understand at once that with the last sentence Hans intends just to let me know what he has told his family.
In the afternoon with the children. Returning home very unwell, R. goes to lie down. At seven o’clock, when the children are sleeping, I go outside. The loveliest view of the countryside I have ever seen. Everything blue and silvery, the moon and the stars shining, the mountains glowing, the water glittering, all of it bright, yet veiled.
Mood of elevation inside and around me; the unborn child moves in my womb, and I bless it. May its spirit be as clear and mild as this glowing night sky, as calm and noble as the mountain wrapped in its mantle of snow, may its disposition be as deep and gentle as this lightly ruffled water, may it regard the dark shadows around its feet as unmovingly as the dark wood at the foot of the mountain, while its head is bathed in light, may it illumine and raise up all wretched creatures as tenderly as the starlight transfigures the dry meadow and the withered trees! May it eternally think lovingly of the mother who bore it in love!
R. made even more weary by his afternoon sleep and in despondent mood. He bemoans the fact that I did not agree on that former occasion to stay in Genoa, to send for the children and then leave things to Fate. There is not much I can reply, for all the things which decided me then I explained to him at the time, and my inner voice tells me that I did right. Also, he is unwell, and it is only his sufferings speaking.
In the morning he received a very nice letter from his nephew Pastor Brockhaus about Die Meistersinger.