Cosima's Diaries

Diary Entry of April 22, 1882

Overview

Sirocco, errands, and family concerns dominate the day, but beneath them lies R.'s increasingly explicit longing to withdraw from the world into quiet old age with Cosima alone. Even the discussion of Hans's engagement cannot eclipse that desire for repose after a life that found its true union too late.

Content

Saturday, April 22:

Sirocco and a certain amount of confusion today, various letters and requests; but it is a great delight, when I return with the children from the photographer’s (Boni for Gr.), to be met by R. under the arcades. After lunch I negotiate with the agent for the Palazzo Loredano, which belongs to Don Carlos. Then we all go for a walk, R. wishes to make some purchases for the children, and finally we accompany Lusch home, to the Princess.

During our stop at the confectioner’s, R. tells me how desirous of rest he is. “Actually,” he says, “we should now have all the children married off, and the two of us should be sitting for hours on end in a bower on the sunny banks of a river - that is the picture I have in my mind! We found each other too late - we should have been united much sooner.” He also tells me the news of Hans’s engagement. Is this perhaps the resolution of the discords Hans hinted at in his most recent letter? I feel very apprehensive on the children’s account. Since I am rather worn out, the evening is spent looking through the Bayreuther Blätter. R. is satisfied with his writing.