Blandine's accounts of Berlin have enchanted me. In few but excellently expressive words she has given me a magnificent picture of Germany's capital city and its inhabitants. I liked her very much and could very soon find myself opening my heart to her entirely. She is profound and still. Her husband has been father, mother and brother to me; his is a fortunate nature, with rare talent for his profession, uncommonly sympathetic, showing great promise. I was very happy with them. I left my Paris affairs, extremely well cared for, in Ollivier's hands. My actual and immediate Parisian booty is an Erard grand; I was in a good mood at Madame Erard's and easily coaxed this costly production from her.
Well, here I am settled again, longing for rational visitors. Why must you put off your visit till so late? One should never make anything to order. I have seen that afresh in Berlioz's unfortunate operatic libretto. As he read it to me a horror seized me which made me want never to meet Berlioz again, because he can cheat neither me nor the world into accepting his illusions about himself. To see him sitting there brooding over the fate of this nameless absurdity, as if the salvation of the world and his own soul depended on it, is really too much for me. That reminds me of Dorn's Nibelung music. I haven't yet thanked you for this interesting present because, frankly, I am not very capable of appreciating it. Really it would not amuse me to look through it. To think that such trash should not have been refused by the orchestra with contumely at the first rehearsal and that it should on the contrary have given my so-called future Brynhilde, Johanna Wagner, occasion to parade some twenty times before the same public to which I desire to exhibit my works, it really is no laughing matter. It has put me in a depressed and gloomy frame of mind.
Very soon I shall write particularly to the excellent Cosima, whose taste for Herwegh I envy, to prove myself worthy of the distinction of getting a letter from her at some distant date. I find that I am still engaged more or less in silent hostilities with her, God knows why. Surely it cannot be pure jealousy of Herwegh? Still, one does sometimes surprise oneself in these weaknesses and the thought that she feels drawn to visit Zurich more for his sake than for mine does annoy me. We will see how I can get rid of this evil vein. For to-day give your Mazeppa steed my heartiest greetings; tell her I understand her and really was fond of her.
Richard Wagner
Source: Letters of Richard Wagner, Volume 1, ed. Altmann/Hull (London: Dent, 1927), No. 349