Child ! Child, dearest child, Here comes a terrible tale ! The master has made something good once again ! I have just been playing through the finished worked-out first half of my act, and had to tell myself what dear God once told himself when he found that All was good ! I have nobody to praise me, any more than dear God had then — circa 6000 years back — and so, among other things, I told myself: Richard, you're a d — 1 of a fellow ! — Eh, I can understand now, why the lumber gave me such attacks of hypochondria ! One has to keep reaching out God knows where, you see, to fetch the smallest pebble for one's building ; and for all its grief and misery, it has to sound fine in the end, and insinuate itself in such a fashion that one gets a trouble round the heart without ever marking what poor stuff it is ! It all goes off capitally : I have found no lengths and no monotonies ; quite the opposite, passionate life up to arrogance, to laughter of jest ! — No : such a thing I haven't made before ; you'll marvel, for once, when you hear it. — " Now for quiet, peace and some smiling of fate, soon to complete the second half as well ! Then I must be as new-born! — Help me, yourself! else no one helps me. Outside there all of them are dolts, all, all ! — Adieu for to-day! It really was my Rigi day again to-day, so of course it's sweetly raining ! What says Wesendonck to Garibaldi ? A thousand blessings on you ! Lucerne R. W. June 5, 59. I4 6 WAGNER TO MATHILDE WESENDONCK
Richard Wagner
Source: Richard Wagner to Mathilde Wesendonck, translated by Ellis, No. 77