Lucerne, Aug. II, 59. Lady-friend, Only in reliance on an indulgence possible almost to no one but yourself, did I pluck up courage to cause you the incredible upset, announcement whereof I committed to-day to the telegraph. Listen, please ! A departure from your house direct for Paris is not feasible to me ; much as I dread it, I also have no reason to assume as yet that every obstacle will be removed so quickly. Under various impressions — why deny it ? — I'm out of humour ; the chief cause of which, in any case, is bodily indisposition. Should I, then, let the parting hours be spoilt for me? a parting whereto nothing urges me for days to come ? I really was afraid of it. And so I came by the resolve to refresh myself with mountain-air first, for the next few days ; I mean to go aloft, and think of arriving at Rigi-Kaltbad tomorrow (Friday) evening, when I shall see if I can tolerate a few days there. You shall hear from me thence. Then if I fix on a definite date of departure, I will let you know ; and although I cannot venture to insist on the former project being carried out, yet I hope to bring you a somewhat better-mannered parting guest into the house then, than you would have had to entertain tomorrow. You are too good to me, and I repay it with the constant disturbance I cause you. I almost ought to have spared you the trouble about the Riitli [farewell gathering?] from the outset ; but my own trouble, about leaving you with a good impression at parting, has also to be considered : I sacrifice yours to mine. If you remain friends with me, please send me the Palleske [Schiller, cf. p. 102] too : sent as companion to me by you, he ought to be a firstrate guide aloft. A thousand hearty greetings. Tell me if you forgive me ! R. W.
Richard Wagner
Source: Richard Wagner to Mathilde Wesendonck, translated by Ellis, No. 87