Paris, July 25, 61. I meant to come to you for two days, before my journey to Vienna ; now Liszt has knocked that on the head. On the 5 th and 6th of August he is giving big music of his own at Weimar (Faust etc.), and had arranged for me to pay him a brief visit ; then I learnt that he was expecting friends from far and wide, a crowd I did not want to mix in, and sent him word I shouldn't come ; but as that appears to touch him to the quick, I shall have to go, unless I wish to wound him seriously. That frets me, since it makes my Zurich plan impracticable, but I've been thinking whether you perhaps could come instead to Weimar for the 5th and 6th of August ; which really would be very interesting to you both, were it only as pretext for staying away from St Gallen. Do you think that Otto could be brought to see it? — If not, I shall rely all the firmer on you both for Vienna ; where you would have to arrive by the end of September at latest, and stay as long as you possibly can. — I do not write you, for fear of distressing you ; but I think, if anything, too much of you ! — The sense of strangeness in this world is growing on me ever stronger. In truth, I know not why I should endure this parody of life. God knows whether the Tristan will revive me ; if I dip into the score by accident, sometimes I stand aghast at the thought that I may have to hear it soon. — I am astonished afresh, how little of one people strictly can know, how utterly different I am when alone, and when I mix with others ; often I've to laugh at the phantom which steps before them then !— But why continue ? — How goes it with the health? Are the baths acting well ? — Strength ! we still need it ! — I shall start on Monday [29th] ; a quick reply will catch me here still. Then Weimar till the 6th of August. Then — Vienna, K.K. Hofoperntheater. — However, I'm sure to write if I don't see you. — Be saluted from my deepest heart ! R. W.
Richard Wagner
Source: Richard Wagner to Mathilde Wesendonck, translated by Ellis, No. 120